Tag : relationships

Recent research shows that women stay on average longer with their hair stylist (more than 12 years) than their husbands (11 years).

Husbands and houses may come and go, but it  seems a good haircut is forever.

The average woman’s relationship with her  hairdresser will last longer than her marriage, a survey found.

British women typically keep the same  hairdresser for 12 years and five months, or almost a year longer than the  average marriage of 11 years and six months.

Most women, 53 per cent, rated their  hairdresser in the top ten most important people in their life.

And nearly one in ten, or 9 per cent, said  proximity to their hair salon would be a prime consideration if they moved  house, the study of 360 women found.

On average, women spent a year and ten months  looking for the perfect trim.

One said: ‘I’ve known my hairdresser longer  than my children and my husband, in fact I’d go as far as saying she has become  part of my extended family.

‘It takes absolutely ages to find the perfect  stylist who cuts your hair just the way you like it, so when you do eventually  find the right person, you don’t want to let them go.

‘My hairdresser is one of the top five people  in my life never mind top ten.’

Another said: ‘I don’t know what it is about  my hairdresser, but I can talk to her about everything and anything. In fact I  probably share more with her than many of my friends.

‘I don’t know what I would do if she moved  away, I’d probably convince my husband that we’d have to move as well.’

A third added: ‘I’m not loyal to one  particular hair salon, but I am fiercely loyal to my hairdresser. It took me  five years of going from pillar to post to find Chris and when I eventually  found him it was love at first perm.

‘He’s been based at two or three different  salons now and I follow him no matter how hard the salons try and make me  stay.’

The study was carried out by online savings  site NetVoucherCodes.co.uk.

A spokesman for the site commented: ‘The bond  a woman has with her hairdresser is an extremely close one, and one she would  not give up lightly.

‘As our study found, women spend over a year  trying to find the right hairdresser, so it is completely understandable that  they remain with them for a long time.

‘We were surprised to see however, that  nearly one in ten women were prepared to take the location of their hairdresser  as a serious consideration when moving house, that’s what I call  commitment.’

The research found of those, 73 per cent have ‘made do’ with their partner because their ‘true love’ slipped through their fingers.

And a quarter of all adults have been in love with two people at the same time.

But the detailed study revealed 17 per cent of the 2,000 adults polled said they have met the love of their life since they got together with their long-term partner.

And some 46 per cent said they would be prepared to leave their spouse or partner to be with their true love.

Men are more loyal to their partners than women with 37 per cent saying they would stay in the relationship for their partner’s sake.

The poll by Siemens Festival Nights, a unique three day event showcasing three different operas, found the average person has fallen head over heels in love just twice in their life and has been left heartbroken once.

But an unfortunate one in 20 adults has been heartbroken more than five times in their life.

For 60 per cent of those questioned it took just 10 weeks to know that someone is Mr or Mrs Right, the poll found.

Claire Jarvis, Director of Communications for Siemens said: “The survey highlighted some colourful revelations about people’s love lives.

“The results showed it can be hard to find ‘the one’ and although the general perception is that women tend to fall in love more often than men, it was intriguing to see that in reality both men and women fall in love on average two times in their life.

“What is alarming is that so many people claim to be in long term relationships or even married to someone who isn’t the true love of their life.

“And if there are people out there who are genuinely in love with two people at the same time, they must face a huge dilemma.

“Interestingly, more than half of those polled thought they have been in love on occasions but looking back don’t believe it was the ‘real thing’.”

The survey also found that the typical adult fell in love for the first time at the tender age of 19 and dated four to five people before they met ‘the one’.

The study also showed that for nearly 75 per cent of the adults polled the definition of love changes as they got older.

Claire Jarvis added: “Although many of the adults polled said they weren’t with their true love, the majority claimed to be head over heels with their current partner which is really encouraging”

“Love is a fundamental in everyone’s life and a dominant theme in all forms of art and culture.

“Many famous opera stories like La Traviata, and the Magic Flute centre on a powerful love story and our upcoming events at the Crystal in London which are open to the public are no exception.

“We hope adults and children alike will take advantage of this festival and enjoy opera at its finest, in a relaxed and welcoming outdoor setting.”

In the wake of Emma Roberts’s arrest for allegedly battering her boyfriend, Philip W. Cook writes on the shockingly high number of women who beat their partners—and why it’s harder for the men to find help.

The recent news that Emma Roberts was arrested for domestic violence July 7 in Montreal after a fight with her boyfriend, American Horror Story co-star Evan Peters, is merely the latest celebrity case where the man is the victim.

Police were called to their hotel and Evan had a bloody nose, and one source reported a bite mark. Emma was arrested, but Evan did not press charges so she was released. Emma is the daughter of actor Eric Roberts and the niece of Julia Roberts and was a child star on the Nickelodeon series Unfabulous.

But this is far from the first time a female celebrity or celebrity’s wife has been in the news for violence against a man.

Kelly Bensimon, who played in the reality show The Real Housewives of New York City, was arrested for allegedly giving her boyfriend a black eye and a bloody gash. The girlfriend of Tampa Bay linebacker Geno Hayes was arrested for reportedly stabbing Hayes in the neck and head. The former wife of ’80s pop superstar Lionel Richie was arrested for investigation of spousal abuse, trespassing, and vandalism. Humphrey Bogart’s third wife, Mayo Methot, was frequently abusive to him, with Bogart receiving a stab wound in the back. In an interview with Redbook, Whitney Houston said that she was the aggressor in her marriage to Bobby Brown. “Contrary to belief, I do the hitting, he doesn’t.” Actress Tawny Kitaen agreed to plead to spousal abuse and battery charges after attacking husband St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Chuck Finley. Actor and comedian Phil Hartman was shot and killed by his wife, as was Carolina Panther Fred Lane. Lane’s teammates reported that prior to his death, he had more injuries from his wife than those received on the playing field. Former NFL quarterback Steve McNair was fatally shot by a girlfriend.

There is great similarity between female and male victims and their abusers. The biggest difference is that male victims find themselves in the same position women were 30 years ago. Their problem is viewed as of little consequence, or they are to blame, and their are few available resources for male victims. Three-quarters of the men who contact an abuse shelter or hotline report that the agency would provide services only to women, and nearly two-thirds were treated as the abuser rather than the victim.

University of New Hampshire researcher Murray Straus calls it “selective inattention” because of the total emphasis on female victims, despite what research has shown since 1977. Straus and his colleagues found that in minor violence, the incident rates were equal for men and women. In cases of severe violence, more men were victimized than women, with 1.8 million women victims of severe violence and 2 million male victims of severe violence a year. Women suffer a greater amount of total injuries ranging from mild to serious, but when it comes to serious injuries where weapons and object use come into play, the injury rate may be about the same.

Hundreds of scientific studies support what every experienced law-enforcement officer knows: half the time, it is a case of mutual combat; a quarter of the time only the woman is violent; a quarter of the time only the man is. Women strike first in some manner half the time, which of course, greatly increases her chances of being hurt in return.

In May 2007, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published its latest study with about half of violent couples reporting mutual combat, but “in nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70 percent of the cases,” and men incurred significant injuries. The CDC reported that about one in four women and one in seven men have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner.

We need to be realistic about how to deal with intimate-partner violence, based on research and best practices—but that is far from the case.

In Gender Inclusive Treatment of Intimate Partner Abuse, researcher John Hamel says, “Individuals who have been identified as perpetrators by the criminal justice system are typically mandated to batterer intervention programs, also known as BIPs. Forty-five states have established legal standards to regulate BIPs. Treatments based on psychodynamic theory, impulse control disorders, family systems or mental health models are prohibited. More than two-thirds (68 percent) forbid participants in BIPs from seeking couples or family counseling. … Less than one in six states require BIP group facilitators to hold a professional mental health license.”

All this means that women and men who return again and again to the same type of violent relationship are not being helped. One size does not fit all—there is a difference between the intimate-partner terrorist and the one-time family dispute.

Celebrity or not, men, women, and the children who learn about violence from their parents are, in most cases, not receiving appropriate help and intervention.